People often ask my Mom what makes our good mother-daughter relationship work?
The thing we call “two bodies, one heart, one soul”.
I know this may sound a little slobbery, but our relationship is still like the obstetrician forgot to cut the naval-cord.
My Mom’s answer to the above question is usually: be open with your child, talk to each other every day, about practically anything.
Since the kindergarten and the primary school were both in the neighbouring town, where Mom drove me at least twice a day, but sometimes more because of my afternoon programmes, we spent a lot of time together in the car.
We spent these trips discussing whatever happened to us during the day, and she always told me her opinion about everything, which I mostly accepted, or if not, I always finally concluded that the phrase “Mom is always right” is very often true, as she had experienced much more in life than I had.
The other thing was that our office was right underneath our flat, so I often spent the afternoons there doing homework, and slowly but surely I became part of the everyday bustle of an office, without even being aware of it.
This of course meant a lot when it came to learning economics in school, as I gained experience in a lot of areas, I dind’t only learn from books. And since I was always among adults, getting along with anyone from a 1 year-old to a 100 year-old meant no problem.
I started my own life about six months ago, but I visit home several times a week, and whenever I do, we always have great discussions about everything, plus we still have long telephone conversations several times a day, so my Mom still knows about every step I take, every move I make. The only difference being that now I call her sometimes to remind her about this and that or to tell her to stop putting this off.
That reminds me, last time she had a great laugh, when she wanted to come with me to the dentist (I used to be terrified of it earlier), and then I told her I will be OK, she doesn’t have to come with me, cause sooner or later I will have to be taking my own child to the dentist, and it would look quite stupid if Grandma went with me saying, Mommy is a scaredy cat.
Besides me being very close to Mom, my relationship with my Grandma is also quite close, I go on holidays with them, and inform her about whatever’s going on with me practically every day.
I am basically a “lets talk this over” type, so if anything is on my mind I tend to talk it over with Mom, Grandma, my boyfriend and my best friends, so a given topic is sure to be highlighted from many perspectives, and it is much easier to make a decision, or to cope with stuff on my mind.
What I see is that this “treadmill” we live in takes away quality time from parents and from children, resulting in a lot of kids just “running wild”, best case scenario being that they communicate with other kids their age, but sadly enough, often with noone at all, making it very difficult for them to get along in life.
It would also be important for a parent to emphasize how strong, clever, beautiful and talented a child is, and that they are able to achieve things, and solve occuring problems. We can’t hear these often enough for us to become strong, and well-balanced grown-ups.
My Mom also grew up hearing my Grandma say “You can do it”, and then later I also got similar support and positive feedback from my parents and grandparents.
The most I can give my child when it comes to that, is quality time and a positive view of life.